Your shining implements, all laid out in a row. I can’t take my eyes off the mesmerizing glint of burnished steel. Each sharpened edge whispers its secret promises to me; I lean over in the chair you’ve tied me to, to get a better look. I see the movement of a shadowy reflection: me. Adrenaline. My blood pumps faster as I feel the proximity of the cold metal. I close my eyes and allow an imperceptible shiver to run through my body. It won’t be long now.
Shake my head slightly to overcome any remnant of the soporific drug that you’d injected into my veins that I hadn’t managed to resist.
She looked in horror at my babies… this burnished steel that was my flesh and blood. I smiled to myself, patting myself on the back. I was glad I’d decided to go the whole hog, bring out my entire beautiful horde for this one. I stopped to look at her from the corner of my eye. Beautiful with her long black hair, blemish-less brown skin, her straight back and those little frightened eyes. The works indeed. I allowed myself another tight little smile, as I picked each one out of its velvet box, laying them down on the standard issue white dishcloth on the table next to her.
Paused to reach over and stroke her hair, felt myself harden as she shrank away from my touch.
“Won’t be soon now, my lovely.”
Not a word came out from under her gag.
It took all my strength to keep the contempt from showing on my face. I kept my eyes trained on the ground- it wouldn’t do to make eye contact. A delicious shudder goes through me as you run your palm down my river of hair: I revel in every contact our flesh makes.
The smell of stale rum that issued from your mouth can only increase the disdain I hold for you. Do you actually expect me to fear you, a ridiculous caricature that chooses to hide in cloudy obscurity at this sacred hour? A muscle in the corner of my mouth twitches, struggling to express itself in a semblance of a smile. I twist in my head to slap myself hard on the face.
I kept watching her, the inner turmoil that was shaking her insides. This was my favourite part, the agonisingly slow spinning of my web as my lovely flies watch in morbid fascination, all tied and trussed up. My chest almost puffed out a bit/ won’t you look at me now, won’t you seek my face in the dark? My made-up songs leaked out of my ears.
My eyes almost well up at the massacre I’m witnessing.
I stopped once more to lean down and lick her earlobe all the way down its shell, all soft and downy.
There is no escaping this pain.
But she was so agonisingly beautiful: I lost patience and emptied the remainder onto the table, holding the box upside down and closing my ears to the clatter, ignoring those that fell to the floor.
I couldn’t take it any longer.
Hook each ankle to a leg of the chair, pull outwards with a snap. Stand up, bend knee backwards. Splinter the back, rip the ropes with teeth that have been sharpened and before you know it you’re on your back with one foot at your throat and the other digging into your solar plexus. But I’m gentle; there is no malice in my touch. I wouldn’t want to hurt you, now would I?
I can’t even bring myself to smile at the shock in your wide eyes.
Forgiveness is the key.
I shake my head at the ropes that lay on the ground. Bend over to touch the nerve that immobilises you.
Deep breath: forgive-ness-is-the-key-deep-breath-deep-deep-deep-breath.
(Sorry, but I’m going to have to ignore you for a couple of minutes now.)
I bent reverentially down to the ground, gathering in my hands the knives you’d callously scattered to the ground. I’d been warned about this bestiality, but it still took all my willpower to control the flash of blinding anger that threatened to overtake me.
I turn to you when I’m done, unable to resist the temptation to show you my masterpiece.
Crawl over to your supine body.
There’s nothing to resist, my lovely.
Close my eyes with the first holy union of flesh and steel, man and knife united as one.
