anger, sickness. you're already free! a ginger cat walks past you, stalks you- you miss the cats don't you? black cats in your cupboard (he's bobbing past on water now), then the spotted tom who followed you home.
then the dreams- no turtle ships on water, no techinicoloured havens. instead a snarling monkey, a dog who saves you, then chomps up your arm. flying past: everything you've forgotten to carry, an army of lost and founds. remember the leopard? so gently, hugely, it stalked up to me, gravely grabbed my arm in its mouth. I stood watching in fascination, alarms bells faintly ringing in my head: you should be screaming, this should be hurting why aren't you worried? the alarm bells always sounds like my mother.
then sex, it always comes down to maulings and sex. and the flowered armchair in the doorway to an office building. first: the prepubescent boy, a penis envy so clear it could only be false, why would my subconscious yell at me like this? spell things out so simply. seems suspect, should be suspect.
but then that's your greatest fear isn't it? the boredom you exude. the lady who read your palm, looked at your face and shrugged, smiling. nothing there. thankyou very much, maybe you should go home now.
a weighty cross to bear.
me more about you? I want to take you to a meal, sit with you across a table think think think od something more to say
(she talks like a knife)
do you
brush your teeth twice a day? listen when I breathe? watch me smile, because I smile slowly just for you, replace that with conversation, unfold like a cracker in midair. then I think of you in golden sunlight, words invented my life course life source has disappeared melted in the rain,
give me something to think about?
No comments:
Post a Comment