stranger than paradise

mein freund

it’s easier to leave than claw your way back

your morning faces on the train

stumble dad you’re 6 feet tall

the dust rising through the ends of my fingers

what grows through you? rises through to the roof

faces perhaps

but really, more internal irrelevant

churnings. eyes closed, walk through

you collide with

ka-os, and

his estonian robotmaker

hi i’m bengali i’m german

i’m black and white and still i can’t see you

where is my war? we pull up to a cop station

a gas station

a petrol pump

we pull up stoned looking for ice cream

for chunks of chocolate spoons hidden in cups

ridged ends of spoons for my fat asian hands

we pull up, shiver

potbelly quivers

eyes narrow, eyes meet

alarmbells ring: you square your hips and shoulders, walk towards me i keep the car running

strangers rape in stranger’s cars and strangest of all

the paradise that you and i are here

my rape has happened: we were born to it

little girls on laps wet kisses in oily corridors

tears rise screams between my ears

ma, help

this mans fingers are running down the line the separates my buttocks

his arm has an iron rod, i wonder if that’s what makes him broken inside thats what makes

his touch so hideous

my rape happened, where were you?

trapped in elevators

while on escalators

a woman squats to pee

it trickles down towards me, waiting

for a bus in the night

waiting for groups of men

waiting for groups of boys

men

boys

men

--

no i will not go softly

into the night

i will stay here, eyes shutting in sleep

i will stay here to watch

the exact way your fingers curl towards your crotch

flicking from left to right

your testicles

i will stay here and stare you down blood rising

From forgotten meetings, May 17th.